Eternal Burning

The emotions in the dream are so intense that they are brought to reality.

I'm sorry..." I choked, not knowing where I was or who was in front of me.

Shh. "In the dark, the other party gently picked me up, stroked my back and asked, why do you want to apologize?"

Trembling all over, I couldn't help but want to get closer to this reassuring embrace.

Because... only I'm alive..."

Deep down, I know that this is a kind of ptsd and a psychological problem, but whenever I recall three friends who died tragically in the dead of night, I still feel uncontrollably guilty for surviving.

The air was quiet, and the other party hugged me even tighter, his voice was very soft, as if he was talking to me, but also as if he was just muttering to himself.

... being alive is not a shameful thing, and you don't need to apologize to anyone. "

Chapter 16 It's Okay If You Can't Let It Go

At seven in the morning, the alarm clock rings on time. I struggled to wake up, still groggy from the sleeping pills.

Sitting on the bed for a while, the memory of last night recovered little by little with the awakening of consciousness.

In the past, as long as I had a nightmare, I couldn't remember anything the next day. The pain that was etched in my bones and made me tremble would still make me uncomfortable for a long time. But this time is different. In the fragmented flashback, the solid embrace in the dark and the soft comfort in the ear are too present, overshadowing the heart-piercing pain, as if it was another bizarre dream.

- Living is not a shameful thing, you don't need to apologize to anyone.

It's the first time someone has told me that, and it doesn't look like he's anything but his face.

A smile appeared on my lips, but I suddenly remembered that I woke up from a dream last night, I cried so hard, I was hugged by Shang Muxiao and coaxed for a long time. I held onto the clothes on his back, like a drowning person grabbing the last straw, and I didn't let go until I fell asleep again crying.

I buried my face in the palm of my hand, unable to believe that I would cry like that, or in front of Shang Muxiao.

I don't know how he will laugh at me...

With annoyed mood, after washing up, I did some psychological construction, and then I pushed out the door.

Shang Muxiao was nowhere to be seen on the sofa, and there was an inexplicable burnt smell in the air, as if something was burnt.

Surprised, I followed the smell to the kitchen, and saw Shang Muxiao sitting at the table eating well, with a takeaway bag on the side. The small dining table is full.

awake. "When he saw me awake, he lifted his chin and motioned for me to go over for breakfast.

What's mushy? "

The porridge was mushy. "He seems to be completely healed, his appetite has increased greatly, two mouthfuls of flowers are rolled into his stomach, and he takes another one without swallowing it in his mouth. It is very different from the frail appearance of yesterday who couldn't eat. I wanted to cook. It was porridge, but it was mushy in the blink of an eye, and then I ordered takeaway."

Glancing at the trash can in the corner, he said with a look of disgust: The pot is useless, I am too lazy to wash it, I will accompany you next time with a new one. "

I followed along and almost didn't recognize my little milk pot. The once fresh mint green shell has become blackened, and the enamel coating on the inside is stuck with a thick layer of coke, as if it has changed into a pot.

No, it's old and not worth a lot of money. "Remember that there is a whole set of this pot. Shen Luoyu gave it to me when I moved. It is said to be a brand from abroad. The meat hurts, and because this pot is expensive, I rarely use it.

Unexpectedly, it died so tragically in the hands of Shang Muxiao, and it was also fatal.

Preserved egg and lean meat porridge, would you like it? "He lifted the lid of a plastic bowl and pushed it in front of me.

I nodded and went to get the plastic spoon in the takeout bag.

He didn't mention what happened last night at all, and he didn't show any intention of laughing at me, which made me wonder if last night was really just a dream I imagined.

Has the fever gone? "It's always a little strange to sit at a table and not talk, so I can only try to find a topic.

Return. Left at midnight last night. "

Have you contacted your sister? "

Um. "He took a sip of soy milk, wiped his mouth with a tissue, and finished eating. I'll go home tonight."

After breakfast, I took him to the school together. Because of the different campuses he was going to, he got out of the car at the gate.

By the way..." He opened the door and was about to get out of the car, I stopped him and told him about the death of Mr. Huáng from the psychological support group.

Maybe someone asked about Sister Liao's information. She sent a group message yesterday about the time and place of the funeral, saying that those who want to send Mr. Huáng's last ride can go there. If you have no time, you don't need to ask for it. You can arrange it according to your own schedule. .

The funeral ceremony was scheduled for this afternoon. I just had no class in the afternoon, so I planned to send him off.

The old man is dead. "Shang Muxiao's expression is light, and he doesn't look surprised, are you going?"