My Beloved Oppressor

The edges of the newspaper crumbled in her hands. Annette read the article repeatedly with trembling eyes.

[The sniper was a French soldier hiding in the Huntingham recapture area who was immediately shot dead on the scene. The General Command is investigating additional backgrounds.

… Fortunately, there’s no life threatening injury, but he suffered a serious wound in the abdomen and is currently recovering in the hospital—]

It appeared that this was concealed to the maximum extent possible on the part of the command, but was eventually revealed by civilian witnesses who were on the scene at the time.

The article gave mere facts. Location, date, approximate circumstances………… Nowhere did it state that the reason the commander-in-chief was shot was because of a rescue operation.

However, Annette was able to deduce all the circumstances from it.

There was only one circumstance in which Heiner could have been on that day and in that place, unprotected enough to be exposed to a sniper.

‘Did he come to the rescue himself…?’

Annette’s expression changed to stunned. It was only then that she finally understood why Heiner was here at the Portsman Hospital.

He had been brought here with her after suffering a gunshot wound during the rescue operation.

Annette tossed the newspaper and rose from the bed. She had to see him. She had to see him and talk to him.

She knew she was going back on her promise to never see him again. But now was not the time to question that. She moved briskly and stopped for a moment to look at the mirror on the wall.

The woman in the mirror looked terribly haggard and tired. The reason she had not been able to sleep properly was due to her recent nightmares, not just because of her injuries.

On top of that, the scratches on her face that had not healed were particularly noticeable. No matter how she looked, she was a complete mess. Annette couldn’t help but compare her past self with her present self.

Her honey-like hair, her innocent sparkling eyes, and her beautiful, white skin were nowhere to be found. In their place was dry, tangled hair and dark eye shadows.

Now she was just a shabby, tired, old woman.

Staring into the mirror, she tidied her disheveled hair. She brushed her pale lips, then, realizing she had no makeup on, she lowered her hands.

Annette withdrew her gaze from the mirror and left her room.

The hospital hallways were filled with patients and caregivers passing by. Annette walked as far as her feet would take her. Then she came to a stunned stop at the end of another hallway. When she finally got out, she didn’t know where to go. Or who to ask for his whereabouts.

“Oh my, why are you out?”

Annette’s caregiver spotted her wandering down the hallway and approached. Annette turned her head, half dazed.

“Oh…”

“Is there anything you need?”

“No………… Can I see the Commander-in-Chief, His Excellency?”

“Huh?”

The nurse asked back, perplexed. Annette repeated.

“I would like to see His Excellency the Commander-in-Chief.”

“Oh …… sorry, I don’t know anything about that.

“Isn’t he who hired you?”

“I was just hired, literally. So far…”

“…okay. I understand.”

Annette backed away nicely. There seemed to be nothing to be gained by further questioning.

The nurse, who had been watching her for some time, led her back to her room. The nurse inquired about her condition and mood in a friendly tone, as if nothing had happened.

Annette returned to the ward, continuing the conversation as usual. As soon as she sat down on the bed, she brought up the subject again.

“Then, by any chance, can you deliver my words to someone else? I want to meet His Excellency.”

“Someone else?”

“Yes. Who is currently my guardian?”

“Uh……….. another officer.”

“Please inform that person, then.”

The nurse then looked troubled and replied that she would try anyway.

Annette thought the officer would tell her the commander-in-chief’s whereabouts. No, even if he did not know his exact whereabouts, she was sure that all of this would be brought to his attention.

Otherwise, there was no way he would have visited her so soon after she woke up.

Heiner was definitely in this hospital. If he was busy because of the war, they could discuss the details next time. But at least she had to see him face to face and talk to him properly again.

I’m sorry.

Thank you.

***

“She wanted me to tell you that…………..”

Working on his sickbed, Heiner stopped his hand, unaware that ink was falling from his pen. A drop of ink spread black on the paper.

Tick-tock. The sound of the ticking sounded louder than ever. Dark, sunken gray eyes appeared, sinking between eyelids. Heiner, who had been silent for some time, eventually opened his mouth.

“…How is her recovery status?”

“There are no particular problems, but according to the doctor, it is a little slow. She’s had some loss of energy and, in his opinion, she has some mental problems.”

“Mental problem?”

“She has nightmares a lot. She has trouble sleeping.”

“Ah….”

Perhaps it was natural.

She was almost burned to death along with the building, and then endured days in the rubble. There was no way she could have gone through that and got out unscathed.

In addition, her performance, which she had just recovered after 5 years, became her last. Annette had now permanently lost what was once her whole life.

Heiner asked in a slightly muffled voice.

“She didn’t say anything about her left hand?”

“Nothing specific was said. She just said …… okay.”

“…okay?”

“Actually, she said that she had expected it to some extent since her left hand was under the debris, and she wasn’t going to play the piano again anyway……….. she said she was fine.”

Heiner looked at the nurse incredulously.

“She said so.”

It was a lie.

It had to be a lie. Heiner was sure of it.

She had dreamed of being a pianist. Despite giving up on her dream, he knew that she still loved her piano.

‘But she’s fine?’

Even if that was a lie, there was nothing he could do now. A sense of helplessness weighed heavily on his shoulders.

“Also, if I may be so presumptuous,…… another thing that worries me is that Miss Rosenberg doesn’t seem to be motivated to do rehabilitation at all.”

“You mean she doesn’t want to undergo treatment?”

“No, she is not particularly refusing. It’s just that she’s very unenthusiastic………….. Actually, this is just my guess, so I apologize if I’ve said anything unnecessary.”

 “…… no. I would appreciate it if you would report everything.”

As Heiner spoke, a scene from his past came to mind. It was after Annette’s first suicide attempt.

Even then she was fed up with everything. Like someone who neither liked nor disliked it, just that everything was “okay”. Looking back at it again, Heiner felt his chest burn.

“Um, Sir. What should I do about Miss Rosenberg’s request to see you?”

The nurse’s words brought Heiner back from his recollection. She said she wanted to meet him…Heiner slowly inhaled and then exhaled.

It seemed that if he let go of his rationality for even a moment, the thoughts he had already organized and closed out would be disrupted again. The regular ticking of the second hand of the clock filled the room. Eventually, a curt reply came out of his mouth.

 “Tell her I didn’t respond…….”

***

Quiet footsteps came to a halt on the hallway. A man leaning by the sliding door tilted his head slightly. His gaze went to the door and into the small window.

A woman sat still in the middle of the rehab room. She had her rehab equipment by her feet and was staring at her left hand.

There was no expression of any kind on her pale face. Only her eyes would blink slowly from time to time. Heiner stood still and watched the figure as if trapped in a very small space. In the quiet, a silent sinking sound leaked out.

The wreckage of the broken ruins rattled in his chest. They continued to move and inflicted sharp scratches.

His drooping hand moved slightly.

He wanted to open this door now, to call her name, to see her close up with both eyes. He wanted to say, I’m sorry for everything, that it was me who made you that way, and thank you for still being alive.

But Heiner did not.

He chose not to.

He knew why Annette wanted to see him. Perhaps she knew the news of his gunshot wound. Being a perceptive woman, she must have been vaguely aware of the situation at the time.

But Heiner hoped she would gradually forget everything that had happened at the time.

Just as he was letting her go far away….

Annette’s application for discharge had already been processed. She would return to the mainland, far from the front lines, and they would never see each other again.

Just as she wished.

His intermittently shaking hands tightened their grips. He desperately tore his gaze away from the window and turned silently.

It was right to end it now.

It was right to end his guilty heart and this deep regret.