My Beloved Oppressor

“What the hell is that about? She was supposed to be in the evacuation procession!”

Annette Rosenberg was not on the final list. Despite this simple report, Heiner’s emotions were remarkably intense. The Commander-in-Chief was not a man to be upset even by the news of defeat.

He just immediately prepared anew and assembled the next edition. The aide was unintentionally perplexed by the unprecedentedly violent reaction of his superior, and replied.

“That, I checked it myself……….. It looks like her name was taken out of the evacuation procession in the middle of the process.”

“Taken out? Where to?”

 “So………… they had an operation to rescue allies and civilians who were trapped in the occupied territory during the evacuation. Apparently they joined up there. However.”

The aide hesitated for a moment later. After watching his superior’s extreme reaction, it was nerve wracking to report the next part…but he had to. The aide moistened his dry lips and continued.

“But when that operation failed and contact was lost, the enemy dealt with them urgently before they left.”

Bang!

The aide’s shoulders shook at the loud noise. The chair fell backwards as the Commander-in-Chief jumped up.

“Enemy forces………..” (H)

The Commander-in-Chief looked as if he had heard the news of Padania’s defeat. No, even if he had heard the news of defeat, he would not have been this shaken.

“What did the enemy do ……?” (H)

His voice trembled horribly.

***

The military vehicle carrying the Commander-in-Chief rattled onward across the city. It was fast, as if in pursuit of enemy troops.

“According to the survivor’s testimony, the French soldiers locked the prisoners in the church and burned them together. Fortunately, a door suddenly opened and they escaped late………….. It looks like there were injured people inside.” (soldier)

The buttons all the way to Heiner’s neck felt unbearably tight. He felt like he was suffocating. He tried to unbutton it, but to no avail.

“They inhaled a lot of smoke and many people were stuck due to injuries, and Miss Rosenberg helped them escape to the end. However, the building collapsed on the way out ………she couldn’t get out………..” (soldier)

Heiner tried repeatedly with shaking hands to unbutton his coat, but failed. He clutched at his chest and neck and coughed.

“The fire was extinguished with a light rain and efforts by the survivors to put out the fire, but they said no rescue was possible due to the situation. They’ve been trying…but it’s already been three days…” (soldier)

 A cough that went on and on quickly turned into a sobbing moan.

“I think it should be considered that she died … .” (soldier)

Heiner gasped and let out a choked moan. His head was filled with buzzing noises. He hunched over like someone who feels an unbearable cold.

It was as if I was responsible for all of this.

No, it was all my fault.

It was not enough that I had ruined the woman’s life; I gave the order to move to the Central Front. All the talk about not expecting the front to be attacked was meaningless.

He could feel the pain like a knife cutting down on his chest. If he relaxed his body just a little, he felt like crying and vomiting blood.

“Please …………..”

Heiner touched his forehead with a trembling hand. And he prayed fervently to a God he had never believed in.

“Please let it be me………..”

Please don’t take her away from me.

Please don’t take everything from me.

Leave me that one woman.

Because so far you have taken everything from me……… 

Please leave me that one person………….

His ceaseless prayers overflowed. Everything around him was crumbling every second. Heiner prayed and prayed again as his whole body felt destroyed.

In a flash, the car stopped. Heiner quickly got out of the car. The sight of a completely ruined city came into sight.

The church where the rescue operation was carried out was located in an area that had been recaptured earlier. The infantry that had been deployed since then had already eliminated most of the remaining forces.

However, they still could not be 100% sure of their safety. They did not know where the snipers were hiding.

A subordinate who had hurriedly followed him from the driver’s seat spoke with a troubled look on his face.

“Your Excellency, we still don’t have an accurate location of the sniper, so it would be better for you to stay in the car…… it’s dangerous.”

Heiner stared blankly at his subordinate’s face for a moment and turned his head. Then, like a half-crazed person, he began to walk aimlessly.

He looked around for the shape of the church among the wreckage of the building.

However, as if to prove the fierce battle, most of the buildings had crumbled horribly. He could not even tell what kind of buildings they had originally been.

Heiner wandered among the wreckage, tracing the remains of the  battlefield.

Here and there were bodies scattered about that had not yet been picked up. The surface of their uniforms had turned ashen.

The gray scene from the countless shells looked like white bones. He stopped and looked out into the distance. Everything from where he stood to the horizon was a pile of ashes.

Whenever the wind blew from afar, the ashes scattered.

Heiner let out a small moan of laughter as if he were crying. The end of the ruin he had walked on his whole life was once again ruins.

Why is life like this?

Why is every path I walk like this?

Why did I even send her here?

Annette did not belong in such a terrible place. She was someone who had lived in a beautiful world filled with fragrant flowers and sparkling jewels.

‘No…’

Was the world the woman lived in really all that beautiful?

Was it really?

Even at the bottom of her life, was she not still noble and dazzling?

Even when she crashed to the bottomless pit, even when everyone abandoned her, even when she contemplated death, even when she was exhausted in her old nursing uniform in the middle of a battlefield full of blood and groans.

Was she not still noble and dazzling?

It was like being hit in the back of the head. Heiner stared at the wreckage and slowly bowed his head.

The world she was in did not make her noble and beautiful.

Only by her presence, by her being.

Something hot welled up from his chest. It was something very primordial and uncivilized. Heiner wrapped his face in trembling hands.

Annette.

Annette.

Annette.

When you smile, it’s like flowers blooming all over the world…

Suddenly, a yellow butterfly grazed him. Heiner raised his eyes and looked at it. The brightly colored yellow butterfly did not fit with this ruin.

The butterfly, which had been hovering in one place for a while, fluttered behind him. One of his men was running from the end in that direction.

“Sir!”

Heiner stared at the scene blankly. Everything felt like a bleak illusion.

“Sir……”

His subordinate’s mouth moved. But he heard nothing, as if the sound had disappeared from the world.

“Survivor—survivors…”

Heiner blinked several times. He seemed to come to his senses slowly.

“Location found!”

At that moment, light returned to his dark gray eyes. His eyes gradually widened. Heiner took off.

Staggering steps tread the path. The steps quickened. Dust, a mixture of dirt and ash followed his wake.

He ran through the ruins.

The surrounding scene passed quickly. Everything felt quiet as if it had stopped. In a world where only his breathing was clear, he kept running.

At the far end of his field of vision, he saw a mixed crowd of soldiers and civilians. The soldiers hurriedly approached and saluted him.

“Your Excellency, Commander-in-Chief!”

“Rescue, rescue operation ……?”

Heiner asked urgently, out of breath. A soldier, noticing the unusual appearance of the Commander-in-Chief, answered  cautiously.

“It has just begun, sir. We finished removing the remaining troops this morning, so…”

The soldier continued, “According to the survivors’ testimony, she’s inside the church. They said they didn’t see her at the entrance.”

Heiner turned around without hearing the last of what the soldier had to say. He rushed to the back of the collapsed building and began digging through the wreckage with his bare hands.

He didn’t care that his palms were scraped and scratched. He concentrated solely on his task, as if he felt no sensation.

The soldiers saw this and stopped in a hurry. They didn’t dare to stop him. The commander-in-chief had just about halfway started the rescue operation. Not only the soldiers who had been deployed, but also the nearby civilians who had heard of the news that he seemed to have lost his mind.

His speed accelerated. Three dead bodies were found during the operation. Heiner continued to work, holding on to the fading hope.

His head was screaming at him that it was no use, but his body moved without rest. He could not give up. Once again he prayed fervently.

God, if you really exist, please take my life and save the woman.

From all death, pain, and sins……………