My Beloved Oppressor

“The Central Group Army has halted its advance? Redeployment of troops?”

Heiner asked suspiciously. The officer steadfastly and forcefully answered.

“Yes, sir, this is an urgent report just received!”

“Wait a minute, more troops…”

Heiner stood up and went to a table with a huge map on it. His gaze shifted from the Central Front to the Northern Front and from the Northern Front to the Southern Front.

“Southern …… South……..? Cheshire Field?”

He mumbled, then repeated it again as if to assure himself.

“….. Cheshire Field…”

France’s Führer was a man full of ambition who wanted to capture Cheshire Field, the breadbasket of the South. For him, it was no exaggeration to say that Cheshire Field was one of the most primary objectives of this invasion of the Padania mainland.

Currently, however, the war situation in the south was drifting in Padania’s favor. It was the opposite of the central front just before the city was occupied.

Führer, perhaps in a hurry, seemed to have the intention of dispatching some of his troops from the Central Group forces, which were advancing relatively fast, and sending them to the south.

“What a fool. How fortunate for us.”

 If they were to send troops, the Central Group Army would have to stop their advance for a while. Then Padania forces would have time to build a defensive line here.

He also got the news that Huntingham’s moving procession had escaped safely late last night. Everything was going quite well.

Heiner tried to raise one side of his mouth slightly, but for some reason it didn’t work the way he wanted it to. He touched his lips with his fingertips for a moment. (*he thought Annette had safely escaped with the moving group)

It was as if he had forgotten how to smile. He didn’t even know when it had been. No, he had to retrace his steps when he learned to smile.

“I like you.” (A)

Since when ………

“Would you like to date me formally, Mr. Valdemar?” (A)

Heiner consciously stopped his thoughts. He closed and opened his trembling eyelids. He removed his hand from his mouth and raised his head.

“Call a meeting now.”

***

“……That’s where my mission ended. The colleagues were handed over to the interrogation room and tortured. For quite a long time. Did you know that our military is famous for its torture skills? Ha ha. They’re also good at creating facts that didn’t exist. I was trained as a spy for the military educational institution that your father supervised.”

“…”

“Heiner was the only one who didn’t reveal anything. According to the interrogators, they thought he had been seduced by some kind of pseudo-religion. Like if he could endure this torture, he would have been scheduled for a ticket to heaven….I would have blown anything in heaven.

Training, drugs, assault, confinement—every method necessary for training was mobilized. He graduated at the top of his class and your father was so pleased with him that he promoted him.

Anyway, during that period the war between France and Rutland broke out, and during the chaos, some of those who survived escaped. In fact I thought they were all dead before they even reached the border. It’s almost impossible to get to the border with their battered bodies.

But Heiner hated Dietrich and the royal family so much that he helped the revolutionary army to establish the current government. Getting close to you was also part of his plan.

But later I checked and it seems that Heiner lived alone and returned to his home country. Miracle, right? How did he succeed in returning home with  that tortured body of his? I don’t know if that’s how he ended up getting a ticket to heaven, haha.”

Eight years had passed since the day she first met that man in the rose garden. Only now, after a long time had passed, did she pick up the fragments of his younger days.

Among the pieces, Annette suddenly realized.

The dry recollections that flowed from him could not reflect even a small part of his life.

Annette covered her mouth with her pale face. Hot breath exhaled in the palm of her hand. Her whole body trembled helplessly.

She didn’t know.

“Yes, I’m the only one who made it back alive.” (H)

How much more was in his words.

“All of my colleagues died in the operation……………” (H)

How he felt when he said that.

Annette now understood how pain and suffering could rule a person’s life.

You can run away from it, but you can’t escape it. They are always there, fluttering under a layer of water. Memories are also trapped there forever.

They always move together along the trajectory of life. It just goes down little by little as time goes on.

Coming up at each weak moment of life, pulling at your ankles.

“That’s why I asked Miss Rosenberg. Is he happy?”

Annette blurrily removed the hand that covered her mouth. Then she looked at Elliot. She said in a monotonous tone.

“I’m wondering if it was heaven or hell where he got back alive.”

Elliot laughed lightly, holding his long cigar, already burned out, between his fingers.

“I haven’t seen Heiner since. Well, I can’t meet him. I have a sense of shame, too.”

“……You… …….”

“Just don’t have to worry about the after effects if it all dies, haha. I won’t even experience the uncomfortable situation for no reason. Don’t you agree?”

“How in the world can you call yourself his colleague and friend after what you’ve done……….?”

A voice filled with anger came out intermittently. Annette glared at Elliot, her shoulders shaking slightly. She hated this thick-skinned man.

“It’s just like that.”

Elliott tossed his cigar roughly on the ground.

“There are people in this world born to live that way. People who have to live that way. Like Heiner and me. Like us.”

“Ha.”

“And it was Miss Rosenberg’s father who conclusively didn’t even send a rescue unit or attempt a prisoner exchange. He threw them away like old shoeboxes. It’s a special skill of Marquis Dietrich. To ‘throw away’ those who were loyal to him.”

“And you are blameless?”

“Well, not so much that I am blameless as that I was not the only one guilty. If I dare to question original sin—now, is it my homeland (France) for me? But then again, you’re the intangible counterpart to whom I can’t even question sin.”

Terribly, Elliot muttered. He still had the same smiling face, but it was strangely empty.

“Bullsh*it.”

Annette said bitingly. Her voice was suppressed, but her tone was clear.

“There was a time when I thought just like you. There are people in the world who are born to live that way. I was born that way, my environment that way, and there is nothing I can do about it. I didn’t make myself this way.”

“…”

“But, here’s the result. All I have left is my broken life and the lives I ruin.”

The expression faded from Elliot’s face.

“You were born that way, and you had to do it? Think about it. Did you really have no choice? A choice that wouldn’t destroy your life and the lives of others in the slightest.” (A)

“…That’s not even funny advice.”

“Took me a little while to realize that. It will take you much longer.” (A)

“Not that there are many people who have attempted suicide and realized how important life is.”

Elliott was sarcastic, as if he even knew Annette had attempted suicide. But there was more bitterness than laughter in it.

Annette was not upset and spoke plainly.

“…If I really had no choice, I would have to make a minimal apology, and of course different people will have different ideas. But at least that’s my conclusion.”

Elliott did not answer. The sun was setting and the fog was slowly dissipating. Silence passed between them for a while.

He looked down only at his feet with his eyes downcast, wondering what he was thinking. The atmosphere was completely different from before, when he seemed to have no weight at all.

“My father’s work, Marquis Dietrich’s.”

Annette suddenly opened her mouth.

“If I am qualified. I would like to apologize instead. Because you are also a victim, at least in that part.”

“…”

“I’m sorry.”

Elliot raised his gaze. His eyes showed no particular emotion. He laughed tastelessly and shook his head.

“Well, I don’t know about the others, but I’ve never thought you were guilty. There are many who are worse than you.”

“Nonetheless.”

“It’s getting colder by the minute. Shall we go in now?”

Elliot turned around before she could answer. He looked like someone trying to avoid something.

They silently walked back the way they had come. Elliott greeted the soldiers casually.

When they reached the front of the church, he suddenly said.

“Miss Rosenberg, there is one thing I haven’t told you.”

“….. what?”

“That time in the interrogation room I visited Heiner once in the cell where he was locked up. I can’t stop wondering.”

“…”

“He was bloody and lifeless. I thought he was dead, but he mumbled about something and I knew then he was alive. I tried to listen closely to see what he was saying. I heard….”

Elliot looked at her with quiet eyes, his lips moving slowly.

“Annette.”

Annette’s eyes widened.

“He was calling your name for a long time, a long time.”