Conan: I Am Not a Snake Spirit

"You said that if you have any thoughts in your heart, I will tell you directly." Lydia couldn't resist Chi Kanai's gaze, but she was still very sincere, "I really think you are cruel enough, even though you have business to do , but when he needs his mother, you are not there."

Chi Kane felt even more worried, but still nodded in acquiescence.

Her third brother once comforted her with a smile: Sadness is because of love, and the meaning of family existence is to let children have the ability to love.

When Chi Feichi was born, she made a self-righteous plan:

0-1.5 years old is the stage for people to build trust and sense of security.

1.5 years old to 3 years old is the stage of establishing rules, affirming oneself, and learning self-control.

From the age of 3 to 5, the concept of gender appears and their gender roles are clear.

She stays with the child until he is 5 years old, and if the child has no eye problems, she will leave.

She thought that she could weaken the child's feelings for her, even if she hated her, it would be better than her feeling of "wrong love and can't afford to hate" towards her mother back then.

She once thought she had succeeded.

At first, the little one would be angry because she didn't go back, but when he saw her, his eyes would brighten up instantly, as bright as purple stars.

Afterwards, that little guy grew up slowly, until now, that kind of brilliance has never appeared in those eyes again.

Her child no longer smiles, stops talking to other children, and walks away with indifference when seeing someone being bullied, as if living in his own world.

Her child will not be willful, mischievous, or even act like a baby, and is not sensible like a child.

When she was in a foreign country, she would only fall asleep when she was tired, so that she would not think about the little things about the child every night, and feel so uncomfortable that she wanted to go back several times.

In the past, she still felt that her persistence was useful. She felt that it was okay for the child to be indifferent, and it was okay for her to no longer depend on her and care about her. If her heart was as cold and hard as a stone, she probably wouldn't have the kind of love for her mother like she did back then. Hate 'feeling.

But those "she thought" were really just "she thought". When she came back this time, she found that her child's love would not be wiped out because of this. She also brought the same pain to her child, and even deeper despair.

She should have understood a long time ago that the child has hidden his emotions better than other children since he was a child, but she still selfishly hopes that her child can grow up to be a self-disciplined, strong, and gentle person, and after the child feels the warmth, she will let him go. Leave it behind, let your children have no one to understand their longing, no one to witness their achievements, and nowhere to talk about their worries.

Her mother gave them companionship and comfort anyway, but she didn't even give these to her own children.

She was worse than her mother, terrible.

In the past two days, she always had the same dream repeatedly at night:

The soft little dumpling at first gradually turned into a little boy with a gentle smile on his face. Gradually, the smile on that face disappeared, and the little boy walked away with an indifferent face, and then gradually became taller than her. Quite a few big boys looked at everything with cold eyes, but in the end, when she was down, they hugged her gently. That embrace was just like that day. Needless to say, it made her nose sore and satisfied...

Every time she wakes up, she only feels pain in her bones!

And the experiment in the book has a follow-up. When those little monkeys returned to the monkey group after they became adults, they were indifferent, withdrawn, and out of gregarious. Will brutally kill their own children.

If one of the little monkeys in the group of little monkeys suddenly becomes normal after being withdrawn and surly, and is slowly blending into the group again, and is still a smart and tolerant little monkey since childhood, then that little monkey has figured it out ? Or has there been a more dire change?

No matter what the reason was, she felt uncomfortable and couldn't bear to say no to the child again.

And under this bloodline, there is no clear ending in the future, and she wants her children to do what they want.

Even if indulgence may bring destruction, it is better than regretting not trying to indulge after destruction.

Lydia saw that Chikana was silent, followed by silence, her eyes gradually became gentle.

She lost her child at the age of 24 and divorced her husband. After more than a year of decadence, she recovered and went to Field's house to help her for a living. Then she saw a beautiful and gentle angel.

A twelve or thirteen-year-old girl has a delicate face, a pair of gentle eyes, and a touching smile.

Occasionally, she would think of her child who died shortly after birth, and secretly grieved by herself, but was once seen by a girl.

The girl asked her carefully and softly:

'Lydia, are you sad? Then I'll give you a vacation, go play all day tomorrow, come back tired and have a good sleep, you'll feel better, if you want me to accompany you, then I'm willing to accompany you. '

She didn't remarry, she didn't have any children, and she watched the girl grow up, get married, have children, and was called "Miss" to "Madam", and then there was another "Little Master" to be called.

That girl is not carefree.

Before she went, the Fields changed all the servants, and there were some rumors of witch blood, but no one could clarify.

She was someone who knew the truth but didn't want to talk about it. It was the girl who told her, and then she understood why a girl like a little angel would sometimes be dazed and insomnia all night, and why a little angel would occasionally turn into a little devil. Stealthily staring at some high-spirited people in the dark, eyes full of coldness...

It was a heavy and depressing secret, and she didn't want that weight to remain on her angel's heart, and she didn't want that weight to be passed down from generation to generation.

After being silent for a while, Lydia took the initiative to speak out, "The reason why you think so much tonight is because of the incident Master Kaito mentioned this afternoon?"

In the afternoon, when we talked about the little girl named 'Hui Yuan Ai', Master Kaidou suddenly suggested that his wife be the godmother of that child. Master Feichi also said that the child's parents had passed away and agreed, but his wife did not immediately agree. Come down, just say that you will think about it.

Chikana nodded.

If she had another child, how would she treat that child?

That little girl has no parents. If she becomes that child's godmother, but doesn't take care of her, wouldn't she hurt that child again?

And if she treats that child well, she will feel sorry for her son who is so sensible that she feels guilty. The better she treats other children, she will think that she has not treated her son so well, and feels more indebted to Chi Feichi.

So she hesitated.

"Master Feichi is a very thoughtful person, he will not make random decisions, and Master Kaidou is not someone who will interfere with other people's thoughts randomly," Lydia comforted softly, "They must all think it is appropriate, so they brought it up , and they didn't force you to make a choice, it's just such a proposal, you don't have to think too much, you can get in touch first, what do you think?"

Chi Kanai listened to Lydia's analysis, and thought for a while, "Did I get into a dead end just now?"

"Yes." Lydia nodded.

Chikana: "..."

"You just think too much," Lydia stood up, and said with a smile, "let the past pass by, be happy, only Master Chi will be happy, right? You go to bed early, staying up late is easy to age."

"Hey, Lydia," Chi Kanai stood up suddenly, approached Lydia, his eyes were full of seriousness, "Do you think I am old? Feichi reminded me tonight that I am over forty Years old."

"No, I think he was joking." Lydia's hair was black.

"Lydia," Chikana said slowly, "I hope you will be honest and straightforward with me."

"Okay..." Lydia said truthfully, "I think Master Feichi is right, you are indeed in your forties."

Ikekana stared at Lydia suddenly sadly.

The corner of Lydia's mouth twitched slightly, and she said seriously and sincerely, "But you don't look like someone in your forties at all, and that's the truth."

Let her be honest every time, and then look at her like this after she has said the truth, it is too difficult for her.

"Really..." Chi Kane turned to look at himself in the mirror, and nodded with satisfaction, "Good night."

"Good night." Lydia turned and left the room, closing the door behind her.

...

the next day.

Chi Fei got up early in the morning and took Feichi out for morning exercises.

When they got home, Lydia had just taken Emma into the kitchen to prepare breakfast.

"Master Feichi, you woke up so early, I didn't know you were leaving..." Lydia greeted him from the kitchen, and saw Feichi in Chi Feichi's hand covered in dirt and grass, "Go out ..."

"Go to morning exercise," Chi Feichi carried Feichi, who was exhausted to death, into the bathroom. "It's in a good mood today. It rolled on the grass for a long time. I'll wash it off."

Feichi lazily vomited the snake letter, it was a little excited to see the owner's mood improved today.

Too tired to talk.

Lydia regained her senses, "Okay, do you need me to prepare your breakfast? Madam will sleep until nine o'clock."

"Thank you." Chi Feichi stood in front of the sink, turned on the tap, and suddenly thought of something, "No roasted tomatoes, no sausages, no mushrooms, no bacon, no English scones, no baked beans, no anything beans."

Lydia felt Chi Feichi's strong dislike for the English breakfast, and silently excluded a bunch of food that she was used to cooking, "Then French toast, fried eggs, mashed potatoes, milk... do you need meat?"

"Beef will do."

Chi Feichi washed Feichi clean and found a towel to help him dry off the water.

If he didn't have something to do, he would rather cook purple potato porridge by himself...

After Chi Feichi came out of the bathroom, Lydia poked her head out of the kitchen again, "I wonder if it would be convenient for you to tell me what you thought about agreeing with Madam to be that girl's godmother yesterday?"

Well, she has to help Madam understand the situation, and then communicate and coordinate.

"Kaito's proposal is very good." Chi Feichi walked to the living room.

If you think it is a good proposal, support it, there is nothing wrong with it.

Lydia asked again, "Then have you thought about what to do in the future? I mean the girl, stay in Japan or let her go to England with her wife? Or..."

"After the matter is decided, we can communicate. It depends on the wishes of both parties. It's too early to think about those." Chi Feichi sat on the sofa and looked back at Lydia. "I haven't told Xiao Ai about this, she I have concerns, and I don’t necessarily agree, but I just think the proposal is good, so I agree.”

Lydia is a little speechless, it seems that Madam really thinks too much, the brain circuit of a man is not so complicated...

"Is my mother thinking too much again? It would be great if she could handle her own affairs as neatly as she handles her work." Chi Feichi took out his mobile phone and dialed, sighing in a low voice, "Tsk...a woman."

Lydia: "..."

What's wrong with women being sentimental?

Master Feichi seemed to be lamenting that 'women are trouble'.

Before Lydia asked, Chi Feichi was already on the phone with Dashan Mi, "Mr. Dashan, early... I'm at home, please help me prepare a computer room, computers, switches, servers, workstations... In short, everything is needed... It’s urgent, it’s best to solve it before 3 pm, you can go directly to buy a ready-made computer room...Okay, I’ll wait for your news.”

Lydia turned back to the kitchen.

Alas, man!

When I grow up, I don't look like a little padded jacket at all.

She suddenly felt that it would be nice for his wife to have a daughter.