A World Worth Protecting

Chapter 1456 It's a Disillusionment
where am i lying?
It's pitch black all around...

I vaguely seem to hear someone talking, but I can't hear what the other person is saying.

A little tired, forget it, stop listening, I think I should be about to disappear, but before disappearing, I always think about my life.

My life...is actually quite interesting.

I never knew who I was.

So, I naturally don't know what my name is.

Maybe I don't have a name.

It's strange, how can there be people without a name, in my cognition, it seems that everyone in this world has their own name.

But unfortunately, I didn't.

I can't remember why this happened, just a little vague memory, it seems... on a certain day a long time ago, I gave my name to someone else.

Willingly.

I feel so stupid, how could I willingly give my name away...

I don't know, maybe there is a reason.

Alas, my thoughts seem to be a little confused, let me take a look at it... These things are always echoing in my thoughts, they seem to be very important, but I can't remember them, I just can't remember them, there is no way.

All I can remember is my childhood.

My childhood, I define it as the life before the age of 20. In this ordinary world, like other children, I experienced school, experienced playing, and experienced seemingly childish games again and again.

But people around me always seem to tell me to study hard, to do this, to do that... I was a little bored at first, until one day, I looked at the rain falling from the sky, and suddenly I was curious about why it was raining. What is rain.

My teacher gave me the answer to this question. Perhaps since that day, I am full of curiosity about the world and all things. I like to ask why and get the answer, which will make me very satisfied.

For this satisfaction, I began to read and study seriously, and it seemed that there was a desire to push me to acquire all the unknown things.

Every time I gain new knowledge, and every time I solve a why, I am very happy, very happy, I feel that I seem to be a lot different.

Maybe it's because it's too ordinary, so I'm more obsessed with what I think is different, so I study harder and master all the knowledge I can.

This kind of life lasted until I was 20 years old. At that time, I always wanted to express myself, whether it was in front of friends, teachers, or the opposite sex.

I always seem to want to show that I am different, and even deep down, I always feel that I am different from others.

Even though... I don't have an outstanding appearance, I don't have a wealthy family, I'm just a very ordinary existence among all living beings, but this does not affect my heart, there is a little bird.

This little bird, which flies in the sky and is free, is my sustenance and the wings that make me feel different.

In the final analysis, at that time, I was still somewhat polarized. The leap of thought and the ordinary reality made me like to be silent a lot of the time.

It was also at that time that I met a girl who was my classmate next door and the first secret love in my life.

Secret love is happy, secret love is also bitter.

But I am willing.

Because, this makes me more like to express myself, all the time... I still remember that time, it seems that expressing myself is an instinct in my life, I even long to be a hero, to be the darling of the world, to be able to It attracted the attention of many people and attracted her attention.

So, every time I gave a speech, I was very hardworking and obsessed, until this secret love ended.

She died suddenly, and the other party didn't know in the end. I had a crush on her.

On the day of graduation, I was very sad, and I took courage, but in the end... I bowed my head silently, maybe it was a curse, and I still had a crush on me again in the later studies in higher halls.

During this period, I also liked fortune-telling. Every time I was unhappy, I would find a fortune-teller, sit in front of him, and give out a little money.

There is a little trick here, that is, you can't give it first, and then you can get countless compliments, countless praises, countless words like good luck, etc. This will make me very happy, so after the end, Give your pocket money to the fortune-teller.

After a few years of this kind of life, before graduation, I received the first love letter in my life. I was very happy, but I didn't like that girl.

It was not until after graduation that I had my own job, and my self-expression impulse seemed to have reached its peak at this time, so I worked hard, performed hard, and worked hard to gain recognition.

That period of life, looking back on it now, is also quite interesting, because in my hard work, I met a girl and we fell in love.

Love is a cup of bitter coffee.

Although it is bitter, it is also sweet, but I drink it to the end... It seems that I can't tell whether it is more bitter or sweet.

My first love is over.

It was also at that time that I learned about the tobacco in this world, and I was also attracted by the wine in this world. Since then, tobacco and alcohol have become a part of my life.

I'm still trying to perform, but the urge in my heart seems to have faded a lot with each passing year. It was at this time, for some unknown reason, that there were more people of the opposite sex around me.

The second love, the third love, the fourth love, the cups of bitter coffee seem to be connected, let me drink it again and again, until one day, I met a woman, tall The tall, crescent-like eyes made me feel very comfortable when I smiled.

I thought maybe this was the last cup of coffee I drank in my life.

We are in love, we are married.

At that time, I felt that I could see at a glance how I looked when I was old, very relaxed, very comfortable, very beautiful...

Until one day a few years later, the mirror shattered, and the marriage came to an end at this time.

I can't tell who is right and who is wrong.

Pain, struggle, gnashing of teeth, transformation... became the main theme of my time during that time, the little bird in my heart also flew higher at this time, touched the sun, and gained sunshine.

Maybe fate likes to joke with people. In the following life, there are many opposite sexes in my world. Some of them are tall, some are graceful, some are gentle, some are domineering... They are all beautiful and excellent. The arrival of the group and the departure of the group again and again made me a little confused.

Because in the end... all I picked up from it were cups of bitter coffee, like smoke and wine.

Smoking hurts the lungs.

Alcohol damages the liver.

Heterosexual...sad.

But I still like cigarettes, I still like wine, and I still have a longing for love...

Until, when I was 40 years old, I suddenly discovered that compared to the opposite sex, I prefer to chat with friends, talk about the past, and point out the future.

Whenever I drink, I like to pull my friends, brag together, laugh together, tease together, and be like teenagers together.

Perhaps it is this change that makes my friends more and more, I listen to their stories, they also listen to my stories, we talk, we talk.

Maybe there will be some precautions, maybe some secrets will be kept, but it doesn't matter, happiness is the most important thing.

At that time, I learned that everyone is a book, everyone has a story, and everyone... In fact, from the bottom of their hearts, they are all alone.

And the more I know, the less lonely I seem to be.

Among my friends, there are men and women, old and young, and there are all kinds of religions, but it doesn't matter, a sincere smile is the power to break everything.

Gradually, more and more friends like to talk to me.

Gradually, my smile became brighter.

Gradually, I seem to have found a way to please myself.

Talking about that time in my life, beyond knowledge, beyond performance, beyond love, became the most important part of me.

This is a kind of sharing, perhaps because the inner squeeze has reached a certain level, as if the water is overflowing, not only I need it, but many people... all need it.

In this sharing and narration, I have gone through year after year. I don't know since when, I no longer like to narrate, and I start to pursue comfort, which includes spirit and material.

I think it's when my hair starts to turn gray.

I am no longer limited to what to do, no longer limited to what to think, everything that makes me feel comfortable, I will think about it, and I will complete it. I began to like to see the blue sky, the white clouds, and the sunrise. , but I don't like sunsets.

But I also like the starry sky in the dark night.

I like to sit on a rocking chair, have a drink, bring a book at random, and enjoy the air, time, and everything while reading.

I stopped staying up late, I started getting up early.

I'm no longer obsessed with the why of all things, because many of them have the answers.

I stopped trying to express, because I saw it too thoroughly.

I also stopped talking about it constantly, because that would be annoying.

I don't even think about the opposite sex anymore, because looking at them, I just smile, and there may be some memories in my eyes, but the figures in the memories may not be clear to me.

The only thing I pursue is to live a more comfortable life and feel more at ease. It seems that everything in this world has become better in my eyes.

This kind of life lasted for a long time... Until one day, I touched my face and felt a lot of folds. I looked at my hands and saw a lot of wrinkles and plaques.

My eyes were also a little dim, and everything around me was blurry, but looking at me in the mirror, I still worked hard to straighten my body, and there was still beauty in my smile.

Just...outside the mirror, I know, I'm scared.

I have become very timid, I have become very cautious.

I know what I'm afraid of, because sometimes after waking up at night, I seem to see the figure transformed by the breath of death, looking at me silently from the window.

It seems that they are calling me and waiting for me.

I don't want to follow them.

Even some of them are old friends of mine.

I don't want to see them, I'm scared.

I don't want to die, I want to live, to live forever... This urge to survive makes me feel uncomfortable breathing sometimes.

At this time, I will pay attention to those old friends who are still there, and tell them to pay attention to their bodies and their health, because... I don't want to see them go away.

It makes me more breathless and more afraid of death.

Man, why should there be death?

I often think about this question, and also think about what I am afraid of, is it really afraid of death...

The answer is yes.

But behind this affirmative answer, I have another answer.

I am afraid of being alone.

I'm gone, I'll be alone.

They're gone, and I'll be alone too.

This fear of death and loneliness turned into a force that seemed to fill my whole body to support my existence, but... my body seemed to be riddled with holes. After this force emerged, And at a speed that I can see with my naked eyes, it dissipated along those sores.

I want to keep them but I can't.

It seems that I don't even have the strength to get up. I feel that the breath of death has filled me, and my desire and everything seem to be disappearing.

At that moment, I suddenly understood a truth.

Scared, no use.

That day, I remember, I seemed to have strength again, so I sat up hard, dressed myself neatly, walked to the yard, walked to my rocking chair, and finally I sat on the rocking chair and watched the sunset in the distance.

The autumn wind was blowing, and it was icy cold, causing the branches in the yard to sway slightly.

On that branch, in this season, only a yellowed leaf remained, curled and insisted not to fall.

I looked at the setting sun, the only leaf on the branch, and suddenly felt that everything was beautiful, and gradually... I smiled.

In this smile... I saw the sunset, I saw the moment when the dusk passed, the only leaf on the branch fell.

Flutter, flutter... like my rocking chair rocking and rocking.

Until it floated in front of my eyes, covered my eyes, covered all the light, and made this world come to an end in my eyes.

But my consciousness doesn't seem to dissipate.

It's pitch black all around me, I don't know where I am, maybe still in my rocking chair...

It is precisely because my consciousness is still there that I have this memory of my own life.

I think, my life may not be wonderful to others, but to me, it is my only one.

It was also at this time that I seemed to hear a call again, a voice...

It seems that someone is calling me to wake me up...

But I can't hear clearly, I can only identify it based on my feelings, and that voice is somewhat familiar, as if I had heard it in the past.

"What is he saying……"

"Be louder, I can't hear you." I opened my mouth to the pitch black and tried hard. Maybe it was my hard work. Gradually, when my consciousness was about to blur, the voice became clearer.

"Hope...you can live forever and be free."

My mind is shaking violently!

"Hope...you can live forever and be happy."

My consciousness set off a huge wave! !

"Hope...you can live forever and never forget your original intention."

My heart is roaring! ! !

"Hope...you can live forever and be happy."

My soul shakes the star ring! ! ! !
"Finally, I'll give you the name Wang Baole." The moment a familiar voice came into my ears... The body floating in the starry sky, its eyes... opened suddenly! ! !

"My name is... Wang Baole!"

终篇
Thick rings of Saturn.

In the emptiness of the starry sky, Wang Baole stood silently in the place where he woke up, with a deep complexity in his eyes, staring into the distance for a long, long time... He raised his hand and touched his eyebrows.

After a long while, Wang Baole sighed softly, as if he had known it for a long time. He lowered his right hand and grabbed it into the distance. A bead and a wine gourd appeared in front of him.

Looking at the beads, Wang Baole was silent for a long time, then raised his left hand and held it gently.

The size of the bead is exactly three inches in the palm of the hand, it is all of him, and it is also his world.

In the end, he picked up the jug in his right hand, put it to his mouth, and took a big gulp... Shaking his head bitterly, he silently walked towards the distant Xinghai.

His back is lonely and desolate, the further he goes, the farther he goes.

"This lonely road, let's go on..."

It's a phantom
Who is the gift and who is the robbery...

End of the book

(End of this chapter)